"Jenn, how the hell did you manage to fracture your foot in 4 places?"

-"I was in the process of kicking ass and taking names, and I kicked a little too hard."
-"Bella, The Evil Beagle is trying to kill me."
-"Well, this secretary was riding a John Deere lawnmower around the advertising agency where I worked..."
-"I went to the Britney Spears concert the night before (I did!) and well, the "Hit Me Baby One More Time" dance is getting harder to do the older I get."
-"The Dow Jones dropped...on my foot."
-"I just got out of a long term relationship-are you seriously telling me that this giant velcro boot and crutches WON'T help me get a date!?!? I'm so not ready to be back in the dating scene :/"
-"Socialism."

and, the real reason:
-"How the hell am I supposed to know? There were AT LEAST 5 other people in that bed."



Sending healing vibes to my left foot. My actual left foot, not the film by the same name starring Daniel Day Lewis.