Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Love Stinks.

Forever? DOUBTFUL, creepy AA ad. It's all sunshine and roses and joint hairstyle now, but just wait until the chick on the left decides that she wants to share a chignon with a new lady. And then Righty is left alone and with serious neck strain from being in this stupid position.

I have learned a Very Important Life Lesson over the past few months, and here is it is, dear readers: Love Is Irrational. Love can take a sane, thoughtful, cautious person and turn them into an absolutely crazy mess of a shredded up human being. And the loss of it can make you do things that are stupid, say things that are worse, and can make you want to sleep all day for like 4 weeks and never leave an apartment, even when food rations reach a pivotal low. The point is, you're not yourself when Love is involved. Or at least you're not the part of you that dresses in clean clothes and pays taxes and leaves your bed and doesn't turn EVERY SONG THAT YOU HEAR ("Teenage Dream"? Really?) into a precious, precious memory of a missing piece of you that reduces you to hot, hot tears that roll down your INSANELY swollen under-eye area, skipping over a stained sweatshirt and settling into a pool on the leg of the yoga pants you've been wearing for a week.*

*This is all a hypothetical scenario. None of this is based in reality, and even if it was the yoga pants were worn for like, 3 days tops.

That whole "love is patient, love is kind" blah blah blah thing is WRONG. Love is crazy. It makes us do things that the part of us that, I don't know, attended kindergarten learned to repress and ignore years ago (cheat, steal, throw things in anger, consume too much paste when the feelings are too much).

This all has to do with media, I swear, and not just because I've made an angry break-up mix on my iTunes that is. So. AWESOME. It's because I love (d?) Anthony Weiner. I really did. I thought he was the Great Slightly Scrawny Democrat Hope. And now I don't know what to do!! Do I dislike him because he lied? Or was an idiot and sent pictures of himself that he didn't realize could be seen by other people, i.e. they didn't self-destruct once in the hands of the intended recipient like he'd been led to believe they would by too many Tom Cruise films? Thoughts?!?!